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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23178667">On the Borderline</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesthemuscle/pseuds/shesthemuscle'>shesthemuscle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Gen, no happy ending, slight self harm reference</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:35:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>582</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23178667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesthemuscle/pseuds/shesthemuscle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm standing on the borderline...What should I bring or leave behind...From who I was, For who I'm gonna be?</p><p>After the discussion about the wedding and the callback with Roman, Patton's unsure of everything and where he goes from here, feeling more alone than ever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>On the Borderline</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Technically set after the next Sanders Sides video but since we don't know what's gonna happen in said video because it hasn't been released yet, this is one possible direction things could go afterwards. Basically, I have a lot of feelings regarding what we know already, what's canon and how I feel about/relate to Patton. </p><p>Lyrics in summary and title of the ficlet are taken from Thomas Sander's amazing song, "On the Borderline" which is one of my favorite songs of all time. </p><p>Also, Patton calls the others "Logic" "Anxiety" "The Others" etc to put distance between them and himself. Their names are too personal.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No.</p><p> </p><p>No, he won’t go.</p><p> </p><p>They don’t need him.</p><p> </p><p>They don’t want him or his “contributions”.</p><p> </p><p>He’s doing right by them, <em>finally.</em></p><p> </p><p>Thomas will be better off without him there, messing things up with his stupid “ideals” and childish behavior.</p><p> </p><p>He’s no “Dad” and he never was.</p><p> </p><p>Who knew he could ignore a summons this easily?</p><p> </p><p>There’s more important work to be done here, in his room…he’s practical and efficient; maybe, Logic has rubbed off on him a bit after all.</p><p> </p><p>Patton snorts.</p><p> </p><p>Boxes upon boxes filled with memories and childhood treasures line the wall of Patton’s room and he smiles sardonically at the sight. Then he looks at the room’s skeleton—his bed, couch and a couple tables scattered around along with his scaled down bookcases.</p><p> </p><p>This is fine.</p><p> </p><p>He’ll get used to this.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not like anyone else comes in here anyways so there’s no reason not to change things up. There won’t be any needless commentary about it after all.</p><p> </p><p>Patton collapses on his bed and sighs.</p><p> </p><p>He can do this; he’s done it before.</p><p> </p><p>The summons gets stronger but he resists, his hands gripping the blanket on his bed tightly.</p><p> </p><p>The feeling fades away.</p><p> </p><p>How did things end up this way?</p><p> </p><p>Patton takes a few deep breaths like Vir-Anxiety taught him before curling up into the fetal position on his side.</p><p> </p><p>They’re all as bad as each other and yet, here he is while the Others are with Thomas.</p><p> </p><p>This whole thing gives him a headache.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, Thomas’ summons aren’t helping matters and Patton doesn’t know how long he can hold out for. Though, he can’t help but wonder why they or Thomas at least, want to see him. Everyone made their opinions clear last time, when they all supported Roman and Thomas.</p><p> </p><p>Patton clenches his teeth as his nails dig into his shins.</p><p> </p><p>The physical pain is <em>nice</em>; a decent distraction from the emotional turmoil he’s experiencing.</p><p> </p><p>He. Will. Not. Cry.</p><p> </p><p>Taking a couple deep breaths with his eyes closed, Patton forces his emotions down to where they used to be before the Moving On videos. However, when he opened them…his control on his emotions almost slipped again when he spotted something laying on the arm of his couch.</p><p> </p><p>It’s the gift Log-Logic gave him after those videos happened.</p><p> </p><p>The cat hoodie sits innocently on his couch as the one thing he couldn’t bare boxing up; yet, it remains a reminder that taunts him of what once was and will never be again.</p><p> </p><p>A screams forms in his throat but Patton turns away from the hoodie, throwing his face into his pillow as he lies on his stomach. He’s afraid if he screams, the Others might hear him and come to see him as irrational as it is. Though, the longer he ignores the summons, they may come anyways to drag him up there.</p><p> </p><p>God forbid, he ruins Logic’s agenda or whatever the Creativities want Thomas to go after now.</p><p> </p><p>He flinches at the mere thought of the Creativities.</p><p> </p><p>Why don’t any of the Others understand emotions are complicated and hard for him to handle alone?</p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t matter, he supposes. Not anymore, anyways.</p><p> </p><p>There’s no ignoring the summons anymore; besides, it’s easier on his body if he goes up there under his own power rather than being pulled up there by Thomas.</p><p> </p><p>Patton takes a deep breath then syncs out of his room to join the others.</p><p> </p><p>Ready or not, here he comes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Patton calls the others "Logic" "Anxiety" "The Others" etc to put distance between them and himself. Their names are too personal.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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